sophomore de javu..?

despite my grades..

I like this year..

I love my class.. Ü

but for some reason..

I feel like I’m reliving a bad part of my sophomore life..

and it feels worse than before..

during our retreat..

A lot of people made me think if they’re really worth all these whatever shit I do for them..

I was having second thoughts if the past 3 years meant something..

and I was thinking if I’m lucky to know these people who make me feel like they’re only nice if they need something..

because of that..

I cried for the very first time during a retreat..

I cried ’cause I was….

scared?

confused?

I didn’t really know..

then a few days before the (1st) deadline of the write up..

I realized that they are worthy..

the past 3years do mean something..

and that I am lucky to know them..

but then again..

I think I’m just stupid to still be “nice” after everything that’s been going on..

it sucks to have this feeling..

especially if it’s not about relationship crap..

I guess the list of 10 is now down to 9..

taken from my writeup notebook: “I think she’s mysterious..”

haha.. sure..

if the problems are hidden behind the smiles..

then ya.. I guess it’s mysterious.. haha..